Thursday, December 10, 2009

coming back

I've been back online for a couple of days now and spending my time catching up reading emails and my favourite blogs.

Being without a computer for over a week was a rather interesting exercise. I knew that I used it a lot but I didn't realise just how much. Not reading my favourite blogs left me with some extra time and I thought maybe I'd watch some tele - but then I realised that I used the computer to check the tv guide! My time is too precious these days to be just sitting and flicking through the channels. So I thought maybe I'll head to the kitchen to do some cooking but again I hit a hurdle - my favourite recipes are all stored on the computer. My ability to plan hit a bit of a snag too as I usually check online for weather forecasts.

So what did I end up doing with my extra free time?
I sat in bed crocheting or hand sewing listing to the BBC world news on radio 585am. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed listening to the radio through an actual radio as I've developed a bit of a podcast habit.

Being without the computer also coincided with my partner being in Brisbane for four days. I was very nervous about him being away and being left to care for the two children on my own. We don't have any family support so his absence means that I am entirely on my own. Last year while I was pregnant with my daughter he was working away for about five months in Melbourne. It was horrible. My pregnancy was a difficult one with lots & lots of nausea, my toddler son was very active, I'd just returned to work a few days a week and we were selling our home... and I was all on my own. I was completely overwhelmed.

Going into it I had imagined that his absence was going to be a disaster. I didn't cope last year and I only had one child then. Although it was only for four days my strategy was pure survival. I am pleased to tell you that it turned out to be a breeze - amazing how not being pregnant and incredibly ill makes life so much easier to handle!!! The four days that he was away was actually quite an empowering experience for me because it allowed me to see that I can manage on my own, and not just in survival mode either, I can manage everything well on my own. I didn't know this about myself. My disastrous pregnancy that ended in another emergency c-section left me feeling like an absolute failure, and shattered fragment of the person I used to be. Slowly slowly I am finding myself and being on my own for four days was a really useful exercise in this pursuit.

Of course, I am so glad that he is back. Above everything else he is my best friend, and success just wouldn't be as delightful if I couldn't share it with him.

11 comments:

  1. Welcome back! We have very similar experiences - thanks for sharing. I have found blogland my little sanctuary and such a great support through the ups and downs of family life with little ones. Glad you're on the up!

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  2. Hurrah, I've missed you. I laugh at your description of what you use the computer for. SNAP. It is my weather guide, my TV guide, my recipe guide, and of course my craft manual... oh dear.

    And I'm so encouraged to hear that your time minus your partner was actually one of empowerment and enjoyment, not just survival. How great to learn some new stuff about yourself and tap that strength and resourcefulness you felt had gone.

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  3. I am feeling the love sally! x Glad to have you back!

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  4. Welcome back Sally, glad to hear that you had such a great experience on your own this time. Well done to you.

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  5. I can recognise that coming back feeling. I am glad you have it. All power to you!!!

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  6. Welcome back (home?) Sally. Sounds like a very empowering experience.

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  7. Very happy to hear that you have increased your self confidence and welcome back to the virtual world. Cherrie

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  8. Welcome BACK!!!! You go Girl!!! Good to hear you are STRONGER!!

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  9. Yay! Now inspire me woman! ;) I am flat and uninspired and have so much to get done.

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