I spoke with my father this morning. The good news is that the cancer has not spread from his prostate. Now he has to process all the information his doctor has given him and make a decision in regards to his treatment. He wasn’t very clear about all the information. I think he was still processing it all himself and needs some time to let it all sink in. He is a work-aholic who runs his own business and however he decides to proceed he is going to have to stop working for at least six weeks. Frankly I think he will struggle with this most of all. At this time though he is very positive. That’s his style. He is a glass half full kind-a person who speaks of “playing forward”. I assume playing forward is a cricket metaphor, I’m not really sure. It sounds positive though doesn’t it?
I don’t think I have had so many conversations about sex with my father in all my life as I have in this past month. Being that my father’s cancer is in his prostrate part of his consideration for treatment is the affect it will have on his sexual life. Residing in the bedroom next to my parent’s when I lived at home and was studying for my HSC I am well aware that my parents have “done it” more than twice (when they conceived my brother and I) and yet when my father first bought this topic up I was a little shocked. Maybe that is because I have three young children, the youngest of whom is only three months old, and my own sex life isn’t exactly raging at the moment. It does still exist but finding opportunities when we’re on our own and both awake can be a struggle! I’d forgotten that people out there probably manage to stay awake with their partners on a regular basis to engage in some intimate time. I am pleased to know that when I am as old as my folks I’ll still be into “it” – but I sort of knew that already from an awkward early morning moment with my paternal grandparents when I was a child.
All this talk about sexuality has got me thinking, whilst I know where it ends, where exactly does it begin? Is it holding hands or is actual physical contact not required at all? A moment of lingering eye contact? Is it an act at all or rather just the response it arouses within?
So that is where we find ourselves in my father’s cancer story. Feeling good that the cancer has not spread and reflecting on our sex lives.