Monday, November 21, 2011

the start

baby's ripple blanket

Today my father told me that he had cancer. He didn’t actually use the “c” word. I had to say that for him. “So you’ve got cancer” I said somewhat stunned down the phone line. It is big news, only a couple of hours old to me. There is a lot happening in my mind, it is busy and yet foggy. My heart at the moment of disclosure felt like a heavy rock and yet now my insides feel hollow and void – like there is a big empty space inside of me.

It is the start of something. Something that at this time is unknown. There will be more tests and scans later in the week and more news of options and treatments next week. Just now I think we’re all just processing. What exactly does this mean?

My father has always been one to talk in clichés. He speaks positively but it is apparent that there is so much that he isn’t saying.

I am scared.

Today a large package of yarn was put on my door step. It is filled with luscious cotton yarns from the Bendigo Woollen Mills. I bought the yarn so that I could hook my youngest boy a beautiful ripple cot blanket.

Tonight I will start.

38 comments:

  1. Oh Sal. I had the same conversaion with my father 5 years ago. Nothing I can say but that I am thinking of you, your dad and your family right now. x

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  2. Thinking of you Sally. It's funny how hard it can be to say that word. My dad has had melanoma removed - yet I still find it hard to say he's got/had cancer. Take care of yourself in this time.
    And I LOVE your choice of colours - those big Bendi balls are wonderful. The blanket will be beautiful.

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  3. Thinking of you sal. That's a conversation no one wants to have. May that cotton hooking give you some comfort and settle your whirring mind xx

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  4. I'm so sorry. I found crocheting my second bunny rug to be a great solace after my first miscarriage. There are still soft memories tied in when I see it each time we move. I used a blue slightly darker than yours. The colours you have chosen can be both happy and sad. Hope more happy comes along for you. Cherrie

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  5. Much love to you at this challenging time. It is difficult to be at the cusp of such a journey, not knowing what lies ahead...Take care of each other and love each other well.


    And I wish you much happiness with your yarn - I got a similar bundle myself a couple of weeks ago from the same place!

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  6. nice post. Now you can use this SME directory to promote bulk cotton yarns import & export business.

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear this news. All the best of love and strength to your dad and your family. Crochet away - it helps.

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  8. Oh Sally, I'm so sorry. That's hard news to get. I'll be thinking of you.

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  9. So sorry to hear that Sally. Thinking of you and your family.

    Looking forward to seeing what you create with that gorgeous cotton... hope it helps you to cope with the emotional turmoil.

    xx

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  10. Oh Sally. I am so sorry! I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Just know that all your bloggy friends will be thinking of you and your dad and sending loads of positive vibes your way.

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  11. Sal, I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and sending my best.Look after yourself too. xx

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  12. Oh Sally I'm so sad and sorry to heat this. My heart and thoughts are with you and your family.
    And crochet is a lovely soothing thing to do when everything feels scary and whenever I'm feeling fragile.
    I hope it can do the same for you big love xoxo

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  13. Your yarn is what drew me in. I have exactly the same yarn, colours and all from Bendigo woolen mills. I nearly fell off my chair when I read about your dad.

    I too just yesterday have had the same news from my father. I don't know how to feel about it at all. Lost is probably the best way to describe it.

    Biggest hugs to you right now. May you and your dad have the strength to get through this the best way you know how. xox

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  14. Oh crap Sally.

    I remember when my father called me to tell me he had cancer. I had to do the same as you and spell it out... I was 16 at the time. Our world changed 180.

    You are right - this is the beginning of another chapter. I really wish I have great advise that I learned on the journey of my fathers cancer. BUt all I can say is communicate communicate communicate with each other. Also DO NOT fight the emotions. Let them spill when they do and enjoy the happy moments when they come. Just go with the flow.

    Also remember life goes on...

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  15. Hello Sally and family,

    My prayers and thoughts are with you all.
    Bev.xoxo

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  16. Sal so sorry to hear your news - never a good thing to hear from someone you love.
    I hope you get some more answers sooner rather than later and that they shed some positive light on the diagnosis.

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  17. Such horrid news for you! My thoughts are with you all...

    I think that starting a crochet blanket will help in a way as it'll give you something to do & concentrate on so that for a short time, at least you can think about something else...

    Take care of yourself!

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  18. I'm keeping you, your dad, and your family in my thoughts.

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  19. Dear Sal, such crappy news. I don't even know what to say, but I'm sending giant hugs your way. xx

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  20. fingers crossed that all the tests and treatments go stupidly well.
    xox

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  21. That is huge news, and however it turns out, there is a journey to take. In years to come you will see the blanket and remember walking the path.

    Big hugs to you and yours xxxx

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  22. Tell him you love him every day....even though he knows....I wish I had :) That blanket is going to get a lot of love :)

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  23. I'm sorry to hear your news, Sally. That blanket will give you something to hold onto. I really, really hope this is a short journey with a happy ending.

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  24. Oh Sally, so sorry to hear of your horrible news :( There is always a lot left unsaid and strangely enough, cliches tend to fit every situation (in my recent experience anyhow, I remember coming up with about 4 that fit a certain situation while waiting around for an ultrasound).

    Hopefully your Dad's has been caught early enough for a relatively quick and successful treatment plan to be put in place.

    Hook all that love into O's blanket and put some order to those thoughts while you put knots into the yarn.

    xx

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  25. Sally that is so sad, and so scary. Good thing you have something tangible to keep your hands busy and your heart full and your mind occupied. Thinking of you xxx

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  26. So sad Sally to hear :( Thinking of you and your family.

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  27. I hope you think of your father's triumph when you look at your beautiful boy wrapped in a ripple blanket with a big smile on your face. Wishing your whole family all the best, love Posie

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  28. Thinking of you Sal.

    Wishing your father and family loads of strength and wellbeing. x t.

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  29. I´m so sorry about your dad, I think it is almost harder on you as a child than it would be for him in a way, so sudden for you while he would have had some time to process it. You grow up thinking that you will always have your parents there (even if you don´t always want them to), but then when something like this happens you end up having to consider a life withouth them in it.

    My father isn´t terminally ill, although we have had our scares with him ending up in hospital, and it really makes you think.

    Lots of love to you my dear friend.

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  30. Goodness Sally that is a shock. Try to take one moment at a time and stop the mind from going thru the 'what if's' Every single case is different so everyone's journey is different too. He is lucky to have your support and love. Yes is is another chapter, stay strong and positive but also go with the emotions and remember to be kind to yourself, you have a young baby that needs your energy as well. Sending lots of positive love and wishes your way xx Keep crocheting it stills the mind and is great therapy :-)

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  31. Sally take care and have lots of cuddles from that beautiful family of yours. My thoughts are with you and your Dad and that with his strength and positivity he will fight this horrible disease. Hugs to all of you.xxoo

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  32. So sorry to hear your news ... thinking of you. Nic x

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  33. I am a few days late to this post, but wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. Hugs to you Sally xo

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  34. I read this post almost as soon as you published it, I think. But I couldn't comment then. Then, when I read your news, my Dad was undergoing an investigative biopsy thingy. Results due in a veritable age. In the meanwhile, I have been thinking of you. Sending good, strong vibes. xxx

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  35. Oh Sally, such sadness. My best wishes are with your father. x

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