Wednesday, July 11, 2012

it’s cold

beautiful? a part of life.

The other day E. and I were climbing and exploring rocks by the sea side. The other two kiddos had fallen asleep in the car. It’s not really the done thing to leave children sleeping in the car these days. I figured that the windows were partially wound down, it wasn’t summer, and the car was never out of eye shot so it wasn’t too neglectful. We weren’t exploring for too long. It didn’t turn out to be any kind of problem. They weren’t kidnapped. They didn’t dehydrate, or cook. They didn’t wake up. They remain blissfully unaware that their older brother and I abandoned them and undertook a mini-adventure.

Ascending the rocks I caught sight of what on first glance I had thought was a sea gull scabbing at the carcass of a penguin. Climbing higher I realised that in fact it was a fish. I was relieved. Later in the day E. asked me out of the blue why I liked penguins better than fish? I was caught off guard and asked him in return what made him think that I did. He sighted my relief at discovering the seagull was pecking at a fish rather than a penguin. I learnt something new about myself that I am at a complete loss to explain.

It is cold here. The warm sun rays are no more. They’ve deserted me. My bones are cold. Well literally they’re probably not but they feel like they should be. There is a chill within. On the domestic front everywhere I turn things seem to be falling a part. The pool pump, the clothes line, the recently repaired washing machine. The soundtrack of our life is a barking chorus of coughs and there is way too much mis-managed snot. My children are regularly grossing me out! Baby O is still sick despite finishing his first ever course of antibiotics and Raja has blood in his wee and needs to see the vet.

There are little bursts of creativity. There are little adventures and lots of little moments. It’s not all doom and gloom but life just feels a bit disjointed, the balls haven’t been dropped but it sure ain’t a pretty effortless juggle. There is no rhythm. Not even the off beat. Just a jazz-like kind of chaos.

It is beautiful. Not unlike the image of the scavenger sea-gull pecking away at the carcass of a dead fish. It is just part of life.

8 comments:

  1. I hear you! Life is a huge juggle & struggle... I hope all your kids get better fast. It sounds the same here once more. Just over one cold & another hits! Hope you can sort Raja out too. & all the other broken bits! Isn't that always the way. Good luck & stay healthy yourself.

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  2. Oh Sally, it is so hard when little ones are sick - I really feel for you, hon. It makes it all the harder when other things start going wrong too. Hang in there. I hope the sun comes out literally and figuratively for you soon. Kx

    p.s. Beautiful piece of writing - was that your job BC?

    p.p.s. BC - before children ;)

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  3. I hear you too! I think this winter feels colder than usual, the kind of cold you can't shake even when it's warm inside.

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  4. Oh I hope you are all on the mend soon. It is so horribly hard on Mama when the littles are sick.
    Remember to look after you too.
    xxx

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  5. We have been down with a serious case of the flu too and for the life of my I can't get warm. This winter is so cold, the coldest I have experienced in Australia.
    Hope your little ones are soon on the mend.
    x

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  6. Oh, the cold of winter and the lack of light (is that an issue where you are?) is just so much to bear sometimes. It can really get to me, too, and make everything else harder. I soak up the light all summer but I usually run out of reserves by January/February. I hope it all turns a corner soon.

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  7. Warm summery hugs to you and the family. We miss you guys and hope you are all on the mend very soon.

    Ps. Linus asked out of the blue this morning "what colour eyes does En have?". It always makes me happy when they start conversation about ppl in Australia, I so want them to remember and to have it with them as they grow up.

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