Friday, September 27, 2013

still waiting

We’re still waiting in these parts for baby to arrive. I saw the midwife this morning after climbing Jacob’s Ladder, thought 242 stairs might get things moving. Nup. Not really. My cervix is now 5cm dilated, which is halfway there, pretty impressive considering there hasn’t been a lot of contraction action happening since about 37 weeks.

This sure is one strange pregnancy. Most of the first twenty weeks were spent haemorrhaging and threatening miscarriage, and then from twenty weeks on I experienced some incredibly strong Braxton Hicks and backache, always seeming to threaten to go into premature labour. Incredible that from 37wks when full term was reached there has been little action at all. Perhaps I over did it willing baby to stay put?

out and about walking - trying to get this baby out!

Since 38wks and a scan that suggests baby is another biggy I’ve been trying everything I can to coax this baby out. I’ve walked and walked, in sunshine, rain and storms. I’ve tried acupuncture. Eaten red dates and pineapple. Eaten lots and lots of curry and danced the horizontal jig. Baby just doesn’t seem to want to leave the comforts of my womb. Sweet really… but I am starting to get rather concerned about the pending birth. It is important to me that I have another VBAC. My last birth was a VBAC after two c-sections. The whole experience, most notably the recovery, was worlds away from my ordeals following the caesars.

eating for birth

The longer time passes the harder I think this is going to be. I’m visualising a positive birth. I’m practicing my breathing and my affirmations. The doctor and the midwives at the hospital are all really positive and believe that a vaginal birth can be done. Faith. I have faith …but there is some niggling doubt too.

new car

I suppose the extra time has been useful. There has been knitting, sewing on the binding of my third quilt and we traded in our old Suburu for a Carnival. Yep. I now drive a Mama bus. Strange. I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually. I’ve never driven an automatic before. I’m still finding myself reaching for the gear stick and have a minor panic attack fumbling for the handbrake for a hill start.

… anyway, no time to blog much more – I’m off for another walk, and perhaps a stern talk to this baby about the benefits of being out!!!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

waiting

I had a stretch and sweep on Friday. Already 2cm dilated I was kind of hoping that we’d see some labour action this weekend. Maybe not. Murphy’s law would have it that now that I am organised and relatively mentally ready (as much as you can be in that completely terrified kind of way) baby would not be ready to come.

The “to-do” list has many checks: bedroom reshuffle – done, bags packed – done, birth plan – written, new pram – purchased, baby clothes – washed, frozen dinners – made, new car – bought (but not collected – just waiting for the finance paper work to be finalised), mega-grocery shop – done…

So now it is just waiting.

red and blue quilt

I finished my second quilt whilst waiting, hand sewing the binding whilst watching the final episode of Call The Midwife (season one). I was hoping that finishing a quilt and finishing a season was a bit of an omen. Clearly not.

red and blue quilt

I just improvised this quilt. It’s pretty simple, but I did manage to do mitred corners on the border and binding. I was pretty chuffed with that. I’m really getting into this quilt making caper. There is something very cathartic about it,  something wholesome and nurturing that in a strange way makes me feel connected to women throughout the ages. Can’t explain why, but that is how the process leaves me feeling.

sally made

There have been a number of things I’ve done this weekend in an effort to get this labour moving. Yesterday I dragged the family out in the rain for a walk around a local swamp and today with the finer weather we undertook some beach walking. The children had the most marvellous times – puddle jumping yesterday and beaching combing today. They were way too busy collecting to sit still and have a photo taken with their Mama.

at the beach

There is a third quilt waiting for its binding to be finished… maybe when I finish that one baby will come. I do so hope so because I don’t have the mind set to start any new projects and once that quilt is finished there is  just a bit of knitting to do to keep me distracted during this waiting game.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

*sigh*

Red and Blue Quilt (for lack of a better name)

98cm x 100cm

cotton batting

quilted in the ditch (& rather wonky)

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

38 + 1

ace

Baby baby,

We saw you for the last time in my tummy today. We didn’t really get a good look at your face, you were determined to hold your arm and hand across your face in what was a very melodramatic pose.  Clearly you are one of us. The radiologist has estimated that you already weigh about 3.9kg, your side profile revealed lovely chubby cheeks!

It is time for you to leave, to come out into the wider world. You’ve grown big enough and there are so many people waiting, waiting, waiting to meet you. For my part I am filled with ambivalence, I love having you all to myself, to know you so intimately inside me. To feel you dance, squirm, wiggle within me. To rub my hands across my round pregnant belly. You will be my youngest child, this will be the last time I will be pregnant and there is a very big part of me that just doesn’t want it to end.

… but it must. The time has come.

I’m scared. Having laboured and birthed three times previously I am left knowing all too well what I am in for.  Even so I am determined to bring you into this world safely,  I’ve been working hard to do everything in my power to get my body ready for another VBAC.

We’re going to be just fine my dearest babe. It is time for us to gaze into each other’s eyes. It is time for us to smell each other, to nestle and hug.

See you soon,

Mama xoxox

Sunday, September 8, 2013

roll up, roll up

My first quilt finished.
roll up roll up the circus quilt
I wasn’t sure that I would ever do it. This one has been in the works for sometime, in my imagination anyhow. I bought the fabric last year, I started cutting the squares in June and today I finally finished sewing on the binding.
especially for
It sure is wonky! My quilting in the ditch efforts are not tidy and the centre panel was cut and sewn crooked. Still, the boy, my first born, doesn’t seem to mind. Frankly he doesn’t seem to have even noticed.
roll up roll up
During the make-y business he did mess with my head a bit, advising me that he didn’t like it. Didn’t want it. Yarda yarda, blah blah.  Since the binding has been going on there has been none of that, rather “is it ready yet?”. And tonight there were declarations that he’d sleep under it every night for ever and ever – he was going to look after it so well that apparently it won’t even need to be washed. (I’d like to see that happen! Same boy declared last weekend on Father’s Day that today was Kid’s Day … and being the indulgent parents that we are he and his siblings were served chocolate pancakes in bed this morning – his bedding needed to be put through the washing machine twice today!!!)
made with all my love
Originally the plan was to make a blanket. Some patchwork on top and a piece of flannelette on the back. Nothing too fancy. The boy however spotted a huge roll of Tontine batting on special at Spotlight and decided that perhaps a “puffy” blanket would be better.  Who would have thought that getting all the layers joined together would be so tricky?  There has been a lot of unpicking in these parts of late.
stitchy bits
Now he sleeps. My eldest angel. I wonder, are his dreams set to the Madagascar 3 soundtrack tonight? Is he juggling? Riding an elephant? Swinging from the sky on a trapeze? Regardless of what he dreams I do so hope he feels all the love I put into that quilt.