I hosted a very special event today. A farewell brunch for my darling M and five of her closest friends.
M. has had such a tumultuous time of it for the past twelve months and I really want her to leave Perth on a positive note. Over the past couple of months she has come so far. She is so much stronger, so much more resilient and has so much more confidence. She has worked very hard.
The brunch was a great success. We had such a fabulous time. We painted each other’s finger nails and toe nails. We applied glitter tattoos to our hands, feet, bellies, legs, arms and faces. We danced and we dance and we danced. We did a bit of sewing too.
We were very busy having a marvellous time, but we managed to find time to eat some yummy food too.
There was lots of chatter. It is so very interesting to listen to what they pick up about the world around them. They sure are sponges. Lots of giggling. Lots of silliness. One friend exclaimed “best party ever” which sure did make M. and I feel uber ace.
Naturally enough M. is worried about making new friends. I’m not so worried about that anymore. Don’t get me wrong I am still a little bit worried – what mother wouldn’t be? But not as much as I would have been at the beginning of the year. I know that she has what it takes to make new friendships.
Her journey really is quite incredible. Seeing her shrink into herself at the hands of a bully. Seeing the impact that relational aggression had on her. The pressures that the situation has put our family under. Mind blowing really. To think at the end of last year and the beginning of this one, doctors and pastoral care staff were using words like “autism” and “adhd” when trying to find a solution for her. In hindsight I can see that last year there was victim blaming too on the part of her classroom teacher. There was a problem in her classroom that she couldn’t solve (because that is the very nature of relational aggression) and so she very subtly started to stigmatise M. This year she has a much more experienced teacher, an older wiser soul, who has nurtured and encouraged her. The clouds have lifted and she has really started to shine. My bright and bubbly girl is back.
After this morning’s brunch M. confided that she is worried that her friends will forget her. So this week I am off to buy stationery sets for M. to gift to her best buddies so that they can write to each other. Its a tricky one, because as an adult I know that people lose touch. I know that in the greater scheme of things it won’t matter. There will be new friends. People come and go. She will learn it too over time, but for now she can have some pen-pals and who knows? Maybe they will stay in touch.
Of course, there is doubt on my part. I do second guess whether or not the move is the right thing. Well, not so much the move, but the timing. Nah – I’m seconding guessing everything right now… but I have optimism too. Whilst I don’t have belief in a divine entity as such, I do have faith in the universe. Whatever that means? I do believe that everything is going to be ok.